Talking About Talking....My First Blog

December 4, 2013

Today seemed like a pretty good day to start my first blog.  I am starting this blog at the insistence of some friends who think I have something worthwhile to say.  I tell myself that I am too busy to write a blog.  This is the busiest month of the year for me with First Night and Christmas and my house is a wreck and there are so many reasons and excuses I can give as to why I should not write this blog or add anything additional on the "to do" list of my life.

So what compels me to start writing a blog?  Well....I do like to talk and I think I have something to say.

Many of you know that I will talk to almost anybody and everybody.  My grandmother used to pay me five cents not to talk for thirty minutes so she could watch her "stories" aka soap operas.  I talk to strangers in line in grocery stores, and on subways, and in waiting rooms, and even to myself if there is no one else around.  Talking makes me feel at ease when I am nervous, entertained when life is boring, and helps me figure things out,  or gain a better understanding of things.

I come from a long line of big talkers.  Ask anybody about the family I was born into---the Elliott Family--- and they will tell you that we all talk too much, too frankly, LOUDLY and ALL OF US TALK AT THE SAME TIME.

Sometimes I go with my 86 year old father to the Elliott Family Reunion, always held on the hottest day of summer in August, at the Elliott Church in Polkville, NC.  It is there that I understand that big talkers really do run in my family as they have for generations.

Whenever my brothers and my dad and I get together, in-laws and other family members sometimes leave with a headache from all the talking.  I am not around them much these days, but it seems perfectly normal to me to have 4 people talking at once.  It's entertaining and fun in short amounts.  It feels like home in a weird kind of way.

My mother was a great conversationalist, but she was also a great listener.  I like to think that I inherited her listening skills as well as my Elliott family's "gift of gab" but seriously I have trained myself to be a better listener.  My husband Clark is a big advocate of Dale Carnegie and has assisted in my training to listen as well as speak in a conversation.

One of the benefits of talking frequently and getting it all out there is you usually know where you stand with the person you are talking to.

The Elliotts don't harbor a lot of passive aggressive thoughts and feelings.   These things are always talked about.  If one family member is ticking you off or you feel wronged by another family member---you are going to hear about it until you are sick of it or until it gets resolved.

As a matter of face EVERYONE within earshot is going to HEAR about it.  Elliotts also consider it their complete duty and right to point out certain things that most families would perhaps only utter quietly to other family members.  "You look like you have put on some weight since I last saw you."   Or...."I think you have lost even more hair than last year."  Or...."You have just about grown out of the ugly phase of your childhood, I am relieved to see."

These things are actually said out loud to each other at family gatherings.  There is nothing you can do to stop these blurts either.    If it's the truth---or at least the truth as far as my family sees it---you are going to hear it.

When I was a teenager and even into my adulthood, I could be embarrassed by the open and frank nature of my family.  As I get older though, I sometimes find it refreshing.   Yes, the truth can hurt---but lies and deception are far more damaging in a family.

My family is huge on telling the truth.   I personally don't see truth as black and white always.  I see the gray areas in order to spare feelings---but that is rare in our family.

That is not to say that our family is not huge on love and affection.  Elliotts are very affectionate and loving people.  We love our family members and greet them with huge bear hugs and are very demonstrative with each other and always end every conversation and meeting with "I Love You."

All of this talking about talking is giving me a headache and not starting me off on a very good foot with my first blog experience:)  I promise in future blogs to be more entertaining.

I hope to tell my story.  I have let a pretty interesting and rewarding life.   I have also experienced some hard things in my life as well.  I intend to tell it all.  Let the truth ring.